Nighty Night Brownies and NaNoWriMo Update

Now that Thanksgiving has been canceled this year, this may be the perfect time to take off some of the pressure we tend to put on ourselves for our own emotional and psychological well-being. We don’t have to roast a turkey or talk about the election. Now that we can’t gather in groups, some of the normal holiday stressors are almost non-existent.  Maybe that in itself is stressful.

This weekend, Lost Forty Brewing came out with their annual triple barrel aged Nighty Night Imperial Stout. Usually, there is a big festival with games and booths, but this year, it had all been extremely scaled down for obvious reasons.  The release had been delayed by a month.  As the festival and beer are zombie-themed, it usually takes place around Halloween. For this year, they rebranded and called it the Year From Hell.  

Social distancing guidelines were strictly enforced with pre-sale available online beforehand.  I, like most people, picked up my order and went home.  There was a coffin with a slot that people could put what they want to let go of from this year written on a piece of paper.  It will be ceremoniously set on fire on New Year’s Eve. It’s a bit cathartic seeing what has been bothering you going up in flames. Of course, that is only symbolic.  It doesn’t really set fire to your stress and trauma, but at least there are beer brownies.

Several months ago, I had already planned to make brownies with Nighty Night.  I made them last year using an excellent recipe. As I used a special small-batch version of the beer that added in vanilla and cinnamon, I made them with more of a Mexican hot chocolate flavor. They were a huge hit. This year, I made the recipe as is and went for a more rich chocolate flavor using Ghirardelli and Godiva. They tasted very luxurious. 

The beer itself is delicious. The three barrels it used were bourbon, rye whiskey, and a red wine that I think is cabernet. You can taste the oak with a little bit of sweetness from the chocolate and cherries. It’s not as boozy as it was last year, but this is still something that is made to be sipped throughout the night. Nighty Night is not an ordinary beer. 

As for the beer I made last month, it turned out really well. It’s very smooth, and I’m pretty proud of myself. My progress during NaNoWriMo hasn’t been so smooth. So far, this challenge has been a learning experience in writing styles and figuring out which process works for me. Several times, I have written myself into a corner, but there have been the unexpected. I started the month off well, but then a depression hole hit right in the middle that I am still getting over. Writing through clinical depression and also knowing that you will need to rewrite the entire book over again kind of is a demotivator. 

It was a mix of several elements that triggered my depression this time. This experience has gotten me to think a lot about self-care lately. Due to COVID-19 restrictions and my own laziness, I haven’t been doing the things that I usually do to manage it. Mixed with the isolation, family drama, and pressure to complete something I have never done before creates a perfect storm of anxiety and sadness. I have crawled out of the hole, but it will take some time to get back to something resembling a normal headspace. I have to keep writing. 

After my last few years, there are several things I want to see go up in flames. I don’t want to let my trauma define me or continue to be prey for others that never cared. I want to be at peace with myself and the world. I am slowly rediscovering my strength. As bad as this year has been for the world, there are things that I think we as a society should still be mindful of, like washing our hands and being more aware of social injustice. 

It occurred to me that I never described the book I have been working on. It is a work of retro-futurism where a family that lives in a dome civilization established in 1955 discovers sinister plans by the government and seek to uncover the truth. There are also nazis and zombies. I am currently at 20,313 words, which is about 14,000 words short of where I wanted to be at this point. I have to keep working through the Thanksgiving holiday, but if I don’t finish on time, it’s ok. I can still keep working on it.  The pressure is of my own creation.