Challenge #1: Simply Irresistible Caramel Éclairs
“Savory, tasty, scrumptious, delectable, succulent, mouth-watering.”
When I have the rare moments of euphoria and clarity, I realize that any time is the time things can happen. All you have to do is make them happen. It’s hard most days. My attention is usually on other priorities. Clinical depression gets in the way. It’s always easier thinking about doing something than actually doing it.
If that concept sounds familiar, that’s because it’s the same concept as Like Water For Chocolate. Magic in the kitchen. That’s where the similarities end. Like Water for Chocolate is the superior film, but I have thoroughly enjoyed both in my life.
The first time I attempted to make these was a few years ago. I failed miserably. What made it worse was that I was with someone at the time who had made me think I was a fool for even trying. That was around the time he stopped complimenting the food I made and that someone else always made something better than me. Usually, I don’t mind criticism, but not criticism like that.
As suggested, I made the pastry cream ahead of time. My initial plan was to make the cream on Sunday, then finish the recipe on Monday. However, I remembered I had socially distanced trivia. Lately, I have realized the importance of nurturing the friendships I currently have. Trivia at Flyway was my idea in the first place. So, the pastry cream made on Sunday, trivia on Monday (we won first place), and the éclairs finished on Tuesday.
Don’t mind my dirty stovetop. I just made soup.
As I had to wait to make the éclairs on Tuesday, the timing worked out as this is the first day of Autumn. The Autumn Equinox is a time to honor what has passed. Put to bed old traumas so you can look forward to the future. I quickly realized that the key to this recipe is patience and time. It had occurred to me that these éclairs could be a metaphor for letting yourself heal. The next step was making the pâte à choux, but it wasn’t coming together like it should have.
That's not suppose to look like that
Being the kind of home cook I am, I stuck to the recipe. I kept stirring and played with the heat in small increments until it started forming lumps. I began to think I had cooked some of the eggs. Thinking the dough was ruined, I prepared myself to start again. I kept stirring and more lumps formed. It finally started to thicken as I continued. Before long, I finally thought I might have pâte à choux.
The next step, piping it onto the baking sheets. As the dough was on the stove the whole time, it was incredibly hot. The recipe didn't say to remove it. I spooned it into the pastry bag as best I could, making a mess like I usually do. Some fell to the floor and onto the counter. I attempted to pipe the pâte à choux onto the baking sheets. My hands turned red from holding it. I had to stop at first to give myself time to adjust and the dough time to cool off. I needed a minute to collect myself, take a deep breath, and picked the bag back up.
As they started baking in the oven, I noticed that they weren’t puffing up. The tips started to turn golden brown, but not growing. In the end, they came out flat and undercooked in the middle.
Stupid apartment oven
The person I mainly learned to cook from was my dad. I cooked with him more than I had with anyone else. He taught me how fun cooking can be and to try new challenges. He also taught me that when I don’t succeed at something, not to give up and feel sorry for myself. I get back up and start again. He had passed away last year.
I threw the failed pâte à choux away and decided to consult an expert.
Talk to me, Julia!
I poured myself a glass of red wine and turned on some Eartha Kitt. I couldn’t help but use my best Julia Child voice while reading the recipe out loud. By best, I mean obnoxious.
Pepper?!?
This time, the result was so much better. The dough came together easily and quickly. I didn’t even make as much of a mess when putting it into the pastry bag. Too bad, I can’t say the same about the pastry cream.
AAAAAAHHHHH!!! I’m not gonna lie, I did a little dance.
The final step was making the caramel and then dipping them. I went back to the original recipe I had started using. It took such a long time waiting for the sugar to melt, I poured another glass of wine. When it finally began to turn into a golden liquid, I added the cream and vanilla. My hands suffered multiple caramel burns during the whole process.
In the end, I’m pretty proud of them. Now that I have gotten out of my head all the fear that has kept me from them for so long, I think I can work with the recipe and make them better. I could make maple bacon éclairs, lemon thyme éclairs, or bananas foster éclairs with a bourbon drizzle. The possibilities are endless.
Perfectly imperfect
If this is a metaphor for healing, what I have learned is that it takes time and multiple tries. Maybe some red wine and music to get into the right headspace. I should always remember to trust myself...and Julia Child.
C'est si bon!
This looks amazing
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