The Highs and Lows of App Dating

In the last few months, I have found that I have needed to rebuild my self-confidence from the ground up. It would help with some attention from the opposite sex. That has proven to be difficult as I need better self-confidence to attract the attention of the opposite sex. It’s a vicious cycle. 

Welcome to the world of app dating!

By now, most people have tried dating apps like Tinder and Bumble. It is a treacherous minefield trying to find someone to connect with. When you find someone that seems perfectly decent, you agree to meet. Sometimes it works out.

Terry's Chocolate at Rock Town Distillery Available February 15th

“A couple got married here,” said Stephanie at Rock Town Distillery. “They had their first date at the distillery.” The couple in question had met here as a midway point between where they lived. One was from Texas, and the other was from Alabama. 

“We recommend taking the tour of the distillery or attending one of our cocktail classes,” she says. 

What if the first date doesn’t turn out like a person hopes. Every 68 seconds, someone is sexually assaulted in the United States. People deserve to feel safe while trying to have a physical connection with another human being. 

“We are always watching,” says Stephanie. “I am always scanning the room. What makes a bartender a good bartender, you can read body language.”

That sentiment seems to be universal among bar staff. Everyone I have talked to for this blog post has said they can always tell when a couple is on a first date by their body language and how awkward they are. In this day and age, most people meet at places like bars and clubs where they can relax in a fun, casual setting.

Sophisticated Mama at South on Main

“I have had some people make eye contact with me after an hour like saying this is getting awkward,” said Dominque at South on Main. “After sitting there for a while, you know if you’re safe or not. I have had people I’ve pretended like I have known for years and given them a tour of the restaurant.” 

“There is not a bartender on the planet that will not make up an excuse for a customer,” says Ryan at Bark Bar. 

Poodle Punch at Bark Bar

For those that don’t know about this little gem, Bark Bar is a dog park with a twist. You can order food and drinks at the bar while your dog plays with other dogs that come in. It creates that perfect introduction.

“Having a dog with you makes it really easy to start a conversation,” says Ryan. “We are a dog bar. If you are not comfortable with a 110-pound dog running around, it says a lot about that date.”

In my personal experience, people in the service industry see everything and become adept at human behavior. We know when people are having a serious conversation or when there’s something off about the situation.

“You get a front-row ticket to someone’s life for thirty to forty-five minutes,” says Landon at South on Main.

Jimmy at Four Quarter says he can always tell when a customer is interested in someone else at the bar when they move in closer and usually asks what they're drinking.

“They will always avoid letting the other person know how much they drink,” he says. 

Whiskey Sour at Four Quater

“I love to people watch,” says Brian at 109 & Co. “I always see what’s going on. If you’re socially awkward, try not to be as weird as you can.”

Old Fashioned and Butterfly Bijou at 109 & Co

His favorite story was when a group of people came in to order shots, but one of the men complained about how high the bill was. One of the women with them decided to pay for the entire tab in cash and continued to pay for the group the whole night just because she could.

“Women know what they bring to the table,” said Stephanie at Rock Town.

Universally, bar staff encourages patrons to speak up when they feel uncomfortable. They will be there for you. 

 “Say something,” says Dominque at South on Main. “Never take a drink from another person. Make sure the bartender hands it to you.”

When I asked about the “angel shot”, most didn’t know what it was or only heard about it. The “angel shot” is a covert code for the staff to intervene when a date goes sour. Almost all of them never needed it and relied on years of experience.

“If you are on a first date, sit at the bar,” says Landon at South on Main. “There are other lifelines there.”

Dating, whether online or simply going out to meet people, shouldn’t turn into a trending documentary on Netflix. We should be assertive and honest. After two years of living in the age of COVID, we deserve to have fun and connect with people. We deserve to feel good about going out.

“We had an amazing meet-cute here,” says Ryan at Bark Bar. “A couple, who are now a couple, came in individually. The gentleman commented on how the lady’s dog was beautiful because he had a similar type of dog. Come to find out, they were not just similar dogs, but the same breed. Then come to find out they came from the same breeder. Come to find out, they were from the same litter. Now they have been together for two years and come in at least once a week with their dogs.”

Don’t forget to tip your bartender.